Blocked half way.
Hey, Siewman here. Just moved to the new link. Starting it with a simpler one. As you can see, my templates are.. way uglier but somehow i liked it this way now. Simple. So far, blog has been died. I tried signing up for tumblr but seems like tumblr hates me. Haha, got annoyed by it cause i couldnt get to sign in. May be i'll try next time. (:
This new blog, is meant to be quite. You may be a passer by reading this but not to those whom i'm close to. Because for what i'll soon to post, it's everything too personal. A little too much for those whom i'm close to to read.
I'll start off with my boyfriend. He is 2 years younger than me. Yea, everyone will ask, why younger kid? Because i like la. He is matured, he is caring, he is sweet, he is cute most important, he loves me. May be because he is younger, may be because he doesn't feel safe, he is a control freak. For honest speaking, it annoys me some times but at times i do feel happy because he showed me that he cares.
Alvin is very sensitive, if i would have mention all this to him, i'll end up saying sorry because whatever he does, is all for my good. He controls what time i sleep. We had a deal, home before 11, in bed before 11.30. For me i can honestly say that it is impossible. As everyone knows, my SPM just got over last year. I haven't got my chance to totally enjoy myself yet. Not until now. I'm sure those goody two shoes whom i met during secondary school had actually been to clubs.
Nope, me missy goody pants haven't step into it yet. I couldn't even go out late night. Isn't my life awesome?
My parents on the another hand is also a control freak. I have my own curfew. My dad would skin me alive if i'm home 6 in the morning. May be because they are more to close minders. My parents will never let.
My close friend, they are all night life people. During the afternoon/evening, all would say they are bored. but comes to night life, they have their own plans while i have to back down myself. Sometimes i felt like i dont fit in at all. My boyfriend wants me to go home early, my parents wants too, but my friends are all night life. There's always this sad feeling bout me couldn't fit in. I felt like a kid that is trying to act adult..
I had a hard time thinking today. there's so many things i would want to say out. But non a single word could come out. Like today, around 9 over, my friends came my house. They invited me over to Kota Kemuning. He said he has to feed his dog then after that come my house for movie. I thought it would be awhile so i followed. End up i came home around 2 and they didnt go as planned. We had gym, then went Murni for supper. Alvin got mad over me for breaking the deal more than just once. I do feel bad, but i'm STUCK! I'm totally stuck in between. Then She told me go Murni for 30 minute and we'll go back. End up TOO late! I got home, my mom screwed me...!
The worst part is during the supper, they talked about the Cameron trip. Well, i feel very very awkward. He told me.. he told me he had tournament on friday, end up on sat. So he sort of didnt want to go. I had that feeling. I felt like an idiot, that i had just Sabor him, but i didnt.. Didnt mean it.. They changed the date for them.
Another part is, i told him more than 5 times, i had to go.. He pretended he couldn't listen. It was already late, i see he haven't finish his meal, so i waited till he finish. I thought he could understand that i had my own curfew.. But yet he enjoyed himself for his meal. It makes me feel like he doesnt want to care..
Anyhow, there's just too much. May be because i didnt manage my time well. Hang out too much with Alvin and neglected my friends. I'll have my own time tomorrow. Not gonna pick up any calls, just gonna hang around my house until this feeling is gone. I dont feel like see'ing anyone other then my family.
Well, it felt way better now. Pouring everything out is better then just hide it inside until one day the balloon burst. (:
<3 siewman
